


Longing and Jealousy

by TheAddict4Dramatics



Category: The Durrells (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Longing, bit fluffy too, mostly angst, so much longing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-05-27 12:09:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15024296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAddict4Dramatics/pseuds/TheAddict4Dramatics
Summary: As she turned she caught Spiros’ eye from across the garden, he was staring at her just as intensely as she imagined he had been. She felt her stomach tightened in an instance and she began to feel dizzy. There was something about the look on his face; a very specific combination of longing and jealousy that suddenly made the whole thing unbearable. She found she was gasping for breath.





	1. Chapter 1

She shook her head, trying in vain to rid herself of her hopeless preoccupations and focus on the man whose arms she was currently dancing in. George was a kind man; a little younger than herself, handsome in a very English sort of way, and for some unfathomable reason incredibly interested in her even though he had only been on the island a matter of days. He was one of the latest of Larry’s seemingly never ending British converts who had hopped on a ferry to experience the Corfu of her eldest child’s writings – the problem was that Corfu only existed in Larry’s mind. The reality was rather different though no less wonderful, to Louisa at least.

Yet it seemed no matter how many times she told herself to focus on the gentle face of the man in front her mind kept wandering. It didn’t help that without even looking in his direction she could sense Spiros’ gaze boring into her back. She could almost feel the heat from it as if it were burning her skin. Curse her stupidly oblivious children who had invited him to stay for the impromptu party they had thrown to welcome their new guests. Apparently it had escaped both Leslie and Margo’s attention that she and Spiro had said little else but good morning to each other in the last month. And why the hell had he agreed to stay anyway? Everything had been too uncomfortable, too raw after the circus that they had both silently agreed to distance themselves from the other as much as possible. Apparently Spiros had grown tired of that tactic though Louisa knew she wasn’t ready for the conversation that needed to happen between them now. Her insides churned nervously at the prospect.  

Unaware of her internal musings George twirled Louisa round in the time to the music, laughing with genuine happiness as he did so. As she turned she caught Spiros’ eye from across the garden, he was staring at her just as intensely as she imagined he had been. She felt her stomach tightened in an instance and she began to feel dizzy. There was something about the look on his face; a very specific combination of longing and jealousy that suddenly made the whole thing unbearable. She found she was gasping for breath. George stopped moving her at once as his features painted the perfect picture of concern.

“Louisa?” He questioned, sounding uncertain. She had insisted all of the guests call her by her first name but she was growing to regret it – she found it did little but remind her of how desperate she was to hear someone else call her that.

“Sorry… excuse me…” Louisa managed to answer at last. She broke free from George’s hold and walked away from the main group of the party, heading around the side of the house and away from the noise.

She did not look back to see if George was following her, though she strongly doubted he was. And she was glad of it. She was vaguely aware of Larry giving her a strange look from his position near backdoor though he too stayed put. As she rounded the corner, relieved to find this section of her garden empty, she heard footsteps approaching behind her. She didn’t need to turn to see who it was – somehow she just knew. Louisa could hear the blood rushing in her ears, her chest continued to heave and she genuinely thought she may pass out.

“Don’t.” She heard herself warn as a hand found her forearm and gripped it, just tight enough to stop her moving any further away.

It was the closest they had been to each other in weeks and his smell overwhelmed her senses. She had never dwelled on the particular scent of him; a heady blend of the leather from his car seats, the earthy dust of the open air road and the salt from the sea breeze. Since it had become abruptly absent from her day to day life she found she missed it terribly. Spiros turned her slowly until she was forced to face him, the same look still burning in his eyes. George was a nice man but he was never going to be able to make her feel like this just by looking at her; as if she may very well expire from sheer yearning. Louisa audibly gulped as she tried to ignore the fact Spiros had dragged his eyes down to her throat to watch it bob up and down nervously.

“Whatever you’re going to say…” Louisa began shakily. She took another deep breath to try and slow her racing heart. “Whatever you’re going to say, please just don…”

Spiros cut off her words in an instant by bringing his face forward and capturing her lips with his own. The kiss was gentle and deliberate but there was an undeniable hunger contained within it. Louisa was frozen in shock for the briefest moment before she opened her lips to moan into his mouth, encouraging his tongue between her own lips and reaching forward to grab the lapels of his jacket. In turn he wrapped his arms around the back of her, bringing her into him until they were touching from top to toe. He kissed her again and again and again, each embrace growing in passion until their movements were nothing short of frenzied. Her head spun and her knees weakened and her very blood felt aflame in her veins. It was desire the likes of which she had never even dreamed of.

Suddenly Spiros broke apart from her. They were both panting harshly against the other to try and regain some air to their lungs. He was still only for moment before he continued his line of scorching, open-mouthed kisses down the side of her neck and across one of her collarbones. Louisa found her hands winding their way through his thick, dark hair, angling his head to allow him just the right position to satisfy her the most. When he found the space between her collarbones he sucked on it hard causing her to throw her head back in unbridled pleasure. A deep moan escaped her lips, probably loud enough for some of the guest to hear but she found that she did not care in the least. She had never been manhandled in such a way; not without care but with an ardent need that obliterated absolutely everything else including any inclination to be gentle. That thought alone was enough to turn her molten between her legs.

Just as quickly as he had started Spiros suddenly stopped moving. His head remained ducked down against her chest, his arms still wound tight around her back and he breathed heavily against her. Louisa didn’t know why but she found herself dipping lower to place a kiss to the crown of his head, a movement that was offered as a complete show of comfort and nothing else. When he at last raised his head to meet her eye she noticed the flush of his cheeks and knew her own must mirror this, if not more so given the paleness of her skin. Wordlessly Spiros reached forward and brushed his fingers over her lips, stroking the tender and no doubt bruised skin there. The act was so absurdly gentle, considering the hard passion of their previous actions, that she found herself smiling.

“I don’t think I can bare it.” Spiros said seriously after several long moments of silence. He looked so utterly conflicted, so completely despondent that Louisa found herself fighting off tears. “I feel so sick with jealousy, watching you with him.” He quietly confessed. Her instant reaction was to ask him how he thought she felt knowing he went home to his wife every night but she decided against it. She didn’t want to argue with him not when he already looked so defeated. “I know I have no right to feel these things.” He said as if he could read her thoughts. She had no right to feel what she did either but couldn’t stop herself feeling it no matter how hard she tried, just as he couldn’t. In this way they understood each other entirely.

“I can’t be alone and heartbroken forever.” If she had wanted to sound defensive she failed. She sounded about as broken as he looked.

“I know. I don’t want that. I want you to be happy.” He told her sincerely. “I just… maybe it is best if I do not come here anymore. I think this is making it harder for both of us.”

It was the last thing she wanted – for him to not be in her life. It had only been a matter of weeks and already it felt as if a gaping hole had opened up right in the centre of everything. She had not been exaggerating when she’d told him she felt lost without him; he had been a presence in every part of their lives since they’d been on Corfu and now all areas were crying out with the absence of him. And yet she found herself nodding at his words. They couldn’t go on this like this; living in utter torture, always one misstep away from falling into complete despair. And Spiros was not going to leave his wife and children. He was simply too honourable for that and Louisa would never dream of asking him to do such a thing. It would break him in two and she simply could not be responsible for that. Perhaps a steadfast separation would make things easier for both of them. At the very least it could hardly make things worse. The problem was now she had had a taste of him, now she knew a little of what it felt like to be in his arms she doubted she would ever stop wanting more.

“Does he know how lucky he is? Please tell me he does.” Louisa frowned in confusion until she finally caught on to his meaning. Her eyes softened in understanding as the tears threatened to fall once more.

“I’m not sure how lucky that is; the woman he wants to date is in love with someone else.”

She let her words hang heavy in the air. Spiros was looking at her with that same intensity once more, the look that made her stomach somersault as if it were in the Olympics, and she was sure he was going to kiss her again. Her breath hitched in anticipation. But at the last moment he changed course, opting instead to grab both sides of her face and place a solid, love-affirming kiss to her hairline. He let the caress linger; hoping it would convey all the feeling he was unable to physically voice, not with the gold band cutting into the finger on his left hand. His lips and nose bumped along the side of her face until he placed an equally firm kiss to her cheek. He paused then; he remained so close that she could feel his body trembling beside her. She could almost see the conflict raging within him; stay or go? Stay or go? Either way he was going to break his own heart, let alone anyone else’s. And then, finally, he bestowed one last kiss to corner of her mouth, softer than the others though it held just as much weight and then he turned and walked away before his fleeting resolve could crumble any further. She felt instantly empty.


	2. Chapter 2

Louisa wrung her hands nervously in front of her as she approached the house. It had been one hell of a 48 hours. Just two days ago she’d been newly engaged to a man she had truly intended to spend the rest of her life with. George would have treated her well, he would never have made her leave Corfu if she didn’t want to and he would have loved her until his dying day. But now he was gone. Back to England on the first ferry this morning. And though she desperately wanted to Louisa couldn’t quite bring herself to regret it.

It was all Larry’s fault really. She’d been struggling enough with the reappearance of her insistent yearning that had emerged instantly when she’d learnt Spiros’ marriage was over, for good this time. His wife had run off back to Athens with the children and another man in tow this time around. Every time Louisa closed her eyes all she could see was Spiros’ melancholic face as he sat at her kitchen table and told her how he couldn’t bear to be apart from his children. But it was Larry’s words that had broken her completely;  _there is no getting over him for you._ Her smug offspring was right too. It had been over eight months and as much as she pretended she had moved on, deep down she knew she had not. Between Spiros and George, between Spiros and anybody else there was no contest, still.

The last time she’d seen him, just over a week ago had been a peculiar encounter. He’d congratulated her on the engagement in a typically Spiros way; earnest and sincere but she could almost see the sadness rolling off of him. He was not going to try and stand in the way of her happiness, even though now he’d soon be free to do so. Stupid, selfless, noble man. Oh how she longed for him. He’d sacrificed her for his family and ended up losing both. There was no fairness in it at all but he did not say that to her.

As she drew closer to the house she saw his beloved taxi sitting outside. It was a sure sign he was in for he never went anywhere without it. Unlike last time he had found himself in this situation he had carried on working and was working a hell of a lot from what she could gather from Theo and others. There was plenty of opportunity to distract himself this way with all of the English tourists still coming over to experience ‘Larry’s Corfu’. Still he’d clearly come home for his evening meal before setting off to ferry the island’s visitors around for their evening pursuits. She’d have no chance to lose her nerve whilst she waited for him to come home.

Louisa steeled herself before knocking loudly on his front door. He opened it a few moments later, visibly taken aback to find her on the other side. They’d said little more to each other than passing pleasantries for months, bar their awkward exchange the week before and she found herself struggling to form any words at all to say to him. Spiros’ features drew together in concern as he took her in.

“What’s happened? Are you okay?” He asked her harshly, almost demanded it of her. She couldn’t blame him – she’d turned up on his doorstep looking and acting like an absolute wreck. She’d worried him.

Before even Louisa herself could comprehend what was happening she stepped forward and crashed her lips upon his. The kiss was hard and desperate and over so quickly Spiros didn’t have the chance to respond or reciprocate. She stepped back from him and she found his frown had deepened even further. He opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it and closed it again. And then, after the briefest of pauses, he stepped forward and kissed her back, _really_ kissed her back. A kiss infinitely better than the one she had just bestowed upon him. His arms held her back, pressing her body into his just as they had last time, all those months ago in her garden. Time and the distance that they had forced between themselves had changed nothing; her head still span and her blood still boiled with the passion inside of her. It was an embrace that felt a thousand time more, more everything than anything ever had been with George.     

Spiros suddenly pulled her toward him further, stepping back and taking them both through his front door. He closed the door behind her and then pressed her body into it with the length of his own causing her to gasp slightly as she felt the firm muscles of his upper body press into her softer curves. He had managed the whole manoeuvre without his lips ever leaving hers and now they were still once more he deepened the kiss, seeking out her tongue and caressing it in the most delicious way. Her limbs felt heavy with desire and her core ached with want for him; she wanted to enclose him between her thighs and push him into her until he filled all the emptiness she felt without him. Louisa moaned into his mouth as her hips bucked involuntarily just at the thought of it. He made an entirely animalistic sound in response. The pooling between her legs was driving her half-mad, she wanted him to take her right there against his front door, in his living room. She had never been so wanton. And thank god he had had the wherewithal to move them inside or she may very well have let him have her on his porch.

“Spi…” She spluttered when he had withdrawn just enough for them to intake some breath into their lungs.

She was too overcome to manage the second syllable of his name and he smiled at that. She got her own back by gently and repeatedly kissing the corners of his upturned mouth which caused him to close his eyes and tighten his hold on her waist until he could bare it no longer and he reached forward to devour her once more. This time Louisa let her hands wander from the base of his neck; moving first up into his hair to pull on it slightly as her nails scraped along his scalp. He groaned appreciatively, encouraging her to repeat the action. Next they wandered down to his shoulders as she took her time letting her fingers map out the broad width of him, her hands meeting in the middle of his shoulder blades and then drawing out again. And as her hands came forward they caught under his braces and she pulled them from him with ease, letting them hang at his waist. As she went to untuck his shirt he let out a growl.

“Louisa…”

She could tell that this particular word was not an encouragement. It was a warning. She flickered her eyes up to look into his own and sure enough there was certain hesitation there, mixed with the overwhelming lust. Louisa withdrew her hands at once, as if she had been scolded. Her cheeks burnt with the shame of it. Had she be reading all of the other signals wrong too? Did he not want, not long for this with every fibre of his being as she did? As if he could hear her silent questions he reached forward and gave her another bruising kiss that left no doubt about how much he needed this, needed her. But there were things that had to be said first and if she carried on touching him this way soon there’d be no way he would be able to stop.

“George?” Spiros asked simply when he had pulled away from her once more. She shook her head. Again she found the crushing pain that should accompany losing a fiancé was not there. Mainly when she thought of George all she felt was guilt; perhaps she had not meant to but she had led him on and he hadn’t deserved it in any way.  

“He’s gone back to England, for good.”

“So that is why you are here?” Spiros didn’t sound particularly accusatory but there was accusation in the words none the less. He was accusing her of coming here solely as a rebound, of using him as second best when there was no other option available to her. She almost scoffed at the idea. It was as absurdly distant from the truth as possible. Surely he could see that. She found that her spine had stiffened in indignance.    

“No he’s gone because I wanted to come here. I’ve been fighting the urge to do so ever since I found out about your wife…” Louisa stopped abruptly and dipped her head. Bringing up his wife was surely not going to end well now. She chanced a look back up at him but found his expression remained unreadable.

“I love you.” He declared confidently after a few moments of silence.

Louisa’s eyes widened in shock, almost bulging from her head. She must have looked quite comical as it caused Spiros to smile warmly at her. She wasn’t shocked that he felt that way; she knew he had months ago when his wife had first left and she had no reason to believe his feelings had changed. If she was honest she’d certainly hoped that they had not changed, as cruel as that was to him. Perversely the only solace she’d found from the heart-breaking despair of their separation was that he felt it too. She was surprised however at how casually he was stating the fact as if it were something he said to her all time. The expected response was on the tip of her tongue, for she certainly felt it too, but instead she found something else entirely escaped her lips:

“Show me.” She requested shyly as her hands reached forward to play with the buttons of his shirt. His smile turned into a smirk as he took in her little performance. It was a side of her he had never seen before; the coy seductress, and he was enjoying it immensely. “I want you to show me…” Louisa continued, deliberately looking at his lips. “I want to feel it…”

Spiros cut her off by kissing her. It was more gentle and slower than their previous embraces but it held just as much passion. It was maddeningly torturous for Louisa who craved more than just the light touch of his lips on hers; she wanted to be consumed by him, to feel all of his weight pressing into her, all of his bare skin stretched out against hers as he moved within her. She was spurred on by her own thoughts that tumbled out in front of them and so her wandering hands began to undo the buttons of his shirt, pushing it from his body entirely as soon as she could. He let her explore his newly exposed arms for a moment before stilling her hands and pulling her towards him as he led her silently to his bedroom.

“Are you sure about this?” He asked her seriously as they reached the threshold of the room. This was a definite line for him – once they crossed it there would be no going back; he would be hers forever whether she wanted him to be or not and he needed her to know that.

“Yes.” Louisa replied. She knew the stakes and she was ready.

He pulled her towards him suddenly with such a force it made her squeal and giggle like a schoolgirl. And then he kissed her as if she were the very centre of the universe and closed the door behind them.      


End file.
